the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
too bad you live with your parents still
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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