I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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