My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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