I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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