Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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