Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
