I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
