Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Randomize