So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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