I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
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Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
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Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning