Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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