have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
