don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
