I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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