I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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