i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
