as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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