it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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