But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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