Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize