Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize