I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
