I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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