my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
