Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
