Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
