Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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