My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
