i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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