no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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