i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
