Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think a kid would responsible me up
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
