So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize