Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
