kristin has been a bad kristin
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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