i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
