Well apparently he's into motor boating.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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