It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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