You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
