I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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