I'm lost and stupid without you.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
