So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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