69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
