It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize