google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
