He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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