Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.

  (305): View more from Florida

  Did you save them?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Who?

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  (404): Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning. (305): Did you save them? (404): Who? http://tfl.nu/1xdf
  Replies (28) Good night (5662) Bad night (1316)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?

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  (330): Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch? http://tfl.nu/ae8u
  Replies (6) Good night (3281) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.

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  (805): We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits. http://tfl.nu/3ys3
  Replies (17) Good night (1187) Bad night (2708)
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  (949): View more from California

  You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!

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  (949): You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon! http://tfl.nu/33kf
  Replies (9) Good night (3995) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight

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  (602): I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight http://tfl.nu/yocu
  Replies (20) Good night (916) Bad night (4339)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's

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  (774): the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's http://tfl.nu/a401
  Replies (16) Good night (2404) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.

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  (907): Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was. http://tfl.nu/9i4y
  Replies (3) Good night (1949) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?

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  (954): In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in? http://tfl.nu/qdxs
  Replies (7) Good night (1544) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.

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  (336): He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time. http://tfl.nu/dr9e
  Replies (8) Good night (1248) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?

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  (541): theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch? http://tfl.nu/3hhq
  Replies (3) Good night (1059) Bad night (2246)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD

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  (724): Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD http://tfl.nu/rhmm
  Replies (4) Good night (1037) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.

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  (225): I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams. http://tfl.nu/g2d9
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.

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  (785): There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha. http://tfl.nu/kiqc
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.

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  (608): First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong. http://tfl.nu/vr09
  Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (128)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila

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  (612): having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila http://tfl.nu/ph2e
  Replies (0) Good night (421) Bad night (132)

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