Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(620): View more from Kansas

my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"

(785): View more from Kansas

you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?

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(620): my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!" (785): you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me? http://tfl.nu/e8og

Replies (37) Good night (1039) Bad night (3829)
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(703): View more from Virginia

i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore

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(703): i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore http://tfl.nu/70pj

Replies (32) Good night (3100) Bad night (954)
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(818): View more from California

Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day

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(818): Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day http://tfl.nu/fmn0

Replies (20) Good night (838) Bad night (2622)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic

(414): View more from Wisconsin

USA! USA! USA!

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(262): i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic (414): USA! USA! USA! http://tfl.nu/meud

Replies (34) Good night (4885) Bad night (978)
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(301): View more from Maryland

We're doing a case race on Saturday.

(302): View more from Delaware

I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"

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(301): We're doing a case race on Saturday. (302): I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism" http://tfl.nu/1jnr

Replies (5) Good night (4082) Bad night (960)
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(316): View more from Kansas

I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.

(1-316): View more from Kansas

That's how you know you deserve to be a senior

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(316): I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES. (1-316): That's how you know you deserve to be a senior http://tfl.nu/bxif

Replies (13) Good night (4784) Bad night (924)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?

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(225): Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday? http://tfl.nu/4464

Replies (5) Good night (2578) Bad night (910)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.

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(731): Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you. http://tfl.nu/9eaj

Replies (8) Good night (2715) Bad night (956)
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(678): View more from Georgia

God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.

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(678): God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job. http://tfl.nu/ew2c

Replies (2) Good night (1457) Bad night (893)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.

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(603): He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing. http://tfl.nu/abhc

Replies (3) Good night (722) Bad night (1512)
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(206): View more from Washington

That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods

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(206): That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods http://tfl.nu/achd

Replies (6) Good night (3707) Bad night (660)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.

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(708): I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/vs89

Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (409)
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(360): View more from Washington

Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.

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(360): Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen. http://tfl.nu/ixgs

Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (381)
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(702): View more from Nevada

tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you

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(702): tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you http://tfl.nu/hzfn

Replies (5) Good night (250) Bad night (407)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off

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(610): girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off http://tfl.nu/612p

Replies (2) Good night (193) Bad night (431)

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