Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving

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(256): View more from Alabama

he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(319): View more from Iowa

we need to stop having unprotected sex.

(1-319): View more from Iowa

ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.

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(330): View more from Ohio

You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.

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(804): View more from Virginia

just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.

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(905): View more from Ontario

Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?

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