I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
