I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going