i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dating After Heartbreak
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
porn star boner night. come get it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.