guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
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we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
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So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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