dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
