I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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