If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
