You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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