just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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