I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
