the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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