I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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