I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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