He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
