I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
