I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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